he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
