Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
