I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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