i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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