She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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