arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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