Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
