I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
