You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
this will be a night to untag.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
