You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo