so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
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I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
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Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.