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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  Four minutes until I can fart!

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.

  Fav 11 5064 895

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  ravioli

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians

  (503): View more from Oregon

  How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?

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• 

  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.

  Fav 25 2149 5886

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow

  Fav 13 4826 1187

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer

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• (530): View more from California

  .......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.

  Fav 2 264 196

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off

  Fav 0 16 66

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