Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.

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  (248) Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well. http://tfl.nu/x3ib
  Replies (2) Good night (1509) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"

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  (816): She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore" http://tfl.nu/r6vm
  Replies (71) Good night (8542) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly

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  (619): there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly http://tfl.nu/smco
  Replies (6) Good night (975) Bad night (3779)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.

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  (928): she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college. http://tfl.nu/99x7
  Replies (50) Good night (9391) Bad night (1307)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I have surprise drugs for everyone

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  (404): I have surprise drugs for everyone http://tfl.nu/7gjj
  Replies (11) Good night (2901) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights

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  (518): I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights http://tfl.nu/wcuo
  Replies (3) Good night (1523) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."

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  (256): He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment." http://tfl.nu/ioax
  Replies (6) Good night (2278) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.

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  (406): Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life. http://tfl.nu/9594
  Replies (12) Good night (1304) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life

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  (781): U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life http://tfl.nu/mfnn
  Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?

  (718): View more from New York

  See you tonight.

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  (201): Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning? (718): See you tonight. http://tfl.nu/wje2
  Replies (4) Good night (1704) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS

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  (724): SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS http://tfl.nu/2482
  Replies (5) Good night (974) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.

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  (651): First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos. http://tfl.nu/tzt2
  Replies (4) Good night (856) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions

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  (540): the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions http://tfl.nu/22up
  Replies (1) Good night (754) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off

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  (978): Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off http://tfl.nu/6y1x
  Replies (4) Good night (1053) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise

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  (845): I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise http://tfl.nu/hmpq
  Replies (3) Good night (442) Bad night (160)

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