Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  I can text with my tongue

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  (716): I can text with my tongue http://tfl.nu/gbw1
  Replies (23) Good night (3387) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?

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  (401): how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much? (617): how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore? http://tfl.nu/k1y1
  Replies (104) Good night (4061) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.

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  (610): I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/pcj6
  Replies (38) Good night (4341) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009

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  (562): biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009 http://tfl.nu/05kt
  Replies (15) Good night (1094) Bad night (3862)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Her vagina smelled like chicken

  (1-605): View more from South Dakota

  why do you say that

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  chicken smells like everything

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  (605): Her vagina smelled like chicken (1-605): why do you say that (605): chicken smells like everything http://tfl.nu/rfgv
  Replies (43) Good night (936) Bad night (3731)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  May it rest in peace.

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  (847): Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence. (708): May it rest in peace. http://tfl.nu/csj7
  Replies (17) Good night (4717) Bad night (1519)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.

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  (330): I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now. http://tfl.nu/yqbr
  Replies (10) Good night (3635) Bad night (1498)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  #1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex

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  (503): #1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex http://tfl.nu/si5x
  Replies (10) Good night (980) Bad night (3280)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat

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  (781): you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat http://tfl.nu/04qy
  Replies (8) Good night (3169) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.

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  (386): well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake. http://tfl.nu/2ev4
  Replies (8) Good night (2956) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome

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  (832): Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome http://tfl.nu/hrea
  Replies (4) Good night (2610) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.

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  (240): He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos. http://tfl.nu/i6so
  Replies (5) Good night (714) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.

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  (607): Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on. http://tfl.nu/m1je
  Replies (2) Good night (572) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?

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  (661): Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children? http://tfl.nu/zcc5
  Replies (1) Good night (261) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written

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  (216): I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written http://tfl.nu/tojk
  Replies (0) Good night (238) Bad night (94)

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