Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream