I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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