he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
