you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
