pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
