the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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