Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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