bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
