yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
