You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
