i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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