i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
