friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
