Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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