It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
