I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
