i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just google imaged poop.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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