well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
