so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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