theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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