Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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