you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Send help, water and tortillas.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
