wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize