If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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