did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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