she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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