don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
