Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
