i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
