Umm I'm too high to move.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.