I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves