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• (714): View more from California

  dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

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• (941): View more from Florida

  For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus

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• (801): View more from Utah

  If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.

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• (431): View more from

  My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived

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