Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
