I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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