The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
