i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
