white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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