Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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