His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
