I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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