happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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