Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
