What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
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I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
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Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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