TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
