Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize