ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
