Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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