THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He has the fingertips of a God
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
